12 Simple Ways to Become More Resilient Every Day (Even When the Universe is Against You)

Life has a habit of punching us in the face when we least expect it. One minute, everything is fine, and the next, your car won’t start, your boss emails you at 9 PM, and you accidentally send a text meant for your friend to your mother (who now has questions).

Resilience is the thing that keeps us from curling into a ball and accepting defeat when the world decides to test our patience. It’s not about avoiding problems—because that’s impossible—but about handling them without completely losing it.

I have not mastered resilience. But I have tricked myself into thinking I have by following these 12 simple habits.

1. Accept That Things Will Go Wrong (Constantly, and At the Worst Possible Time)

Your Wi-Fi will die in the middle of an important meeting. Your favorite restaurant will forget your order. Someone will say, “Let’s circle back on this.” It’s inevitable.

Resilient people don’t waste energy asking, “Why is this happening to me?” Instead, they accept chaos as a fact of life and adjust accordingly. Or, at the very least, keep screaming to a minimum.

2. Learn to Laugh at Yourself (Or Someone Else Will Do It for You)

If you’ve ever tripped in public and immediately looked around to see who noticed—congratulations, you’re human. But here’s the thing: most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to care.

Instead of spending hours replaying that embarrassing moment in your head, own it. Laugh at it. Tell the story before someone else does. Life is so much easier when you stop treating yourself like an overly serious movie protagonist.

3. Take a Break Before You Break Down

Burnout doesn’t come with sirens or flashing lights—it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. One day, you’re fine, and the next, you’re staring at your inbox with the emotional capacity of a houseplant.

Taking breaks isn’t laziness—it’s survival. The people who pretend they can go nonstop without consequences are the same ones who eventually snap and start passive-aggressively replying to emails with “per my last message.”

4. Stop Seeking Validation from People Who Don’t Matter

There was a time when I would agonize over what random acquaintances thought of me. Did I say something weird? Did I sound dumb in that meeting? Do they think I have my life together or suspect the truth?

Then I realized that no one cares. Everyone is too busy dealing with their own existential crises to keep track of mine. Once I accepted that, I was free.

5. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend

If a friend came to you and said, “I’m a complete failure because I made one mistake,” you wouldn’t say, “Yes, you are. Never recover from this.”

So why do we talk to ourselves like that?

Resilient people aren’t immune to self-doubt, but they know how to shut it down before it turns into a full-blown identity crisis. They treat themselves with the same kindness they’d offer someone else.

6. Drink Water and Touch Grass (Literally, Not Figuratively)

If I had a dollar for every time dehydration or lack of sunlight made me irrationally angry, I’d be able to retire early.

Water, fresh air, and stepping outside like a functioning human work actual miracles. If your life feels like a mess, start by asking:

Have I had water today?
Have I moved my body at all?
Have I been sitting in the same spot staring at a screen for 12 hours straight?

If the answer is yes, you don’t need a life coach. You need a walk and a bottle of water.

7. Find Something You’re Bad At and Enjoy It Anyway

I’m terrible at painting. I once tried a “beginner-friendly” watercolor tutorial, and the end result looked like something that belonged in a crime scene investigation, not an art gallery.

But guess what? I still do it. Because it’s fun.

Being bad at something doesn’t mean you have to quit. Not every hobby needs to be a side hustle or a path to success. Sometimes, you just need to do things for the joy of it.

8. Lower Your Expectations (For Everything, But Especially Customer Service)

Nothing will ruin your day faster than expecting things to go perfectly. They won’t. Ever.

Lowering your expectations doesn’t mean accepting defeat—it means you’re pleasantly surprised when things go right instead of deeply disappointed when they go wrong.

This mindset shift works for:

Travel plans (your flight WILL be delayed)
Job promotions (your coworker who does nothing WILL get one first)
Dating apps (let’s just say… adjust accordingly)

9. Take a Social Media Detox (Before You Start Comparing Yourself to Strangers on the Internet)

Social media is a highlight reel, not real life. Every time I scroll, I see people traveling the world, getting engaged, or somehow having the energy to work out at 5 AM.

Meanwhile, I’m celebrating the fact that I folded my laundry within a week of washing it.

A short break from social media reminds me that no one actually has it all together. They just have good lighting and know how to crop out the chaos.

10. Learn to Say No Without an Explanation

“I don’t want to” is a full sentence.

I used to feel obligated to say yes to everything—social events, extra work, questionable favors. Then I realized that half the things I said yes to made me miserable.

Now, I just say no. Without the guilt.

No, I don’t want to join your MLM.
No, I don’t want to go to your baby’s gender reveal party.
No, I don’t need a Costco membership—I live alone.

11. Celebrate Small Wins Like They’re Big Deals

Did you send an email you were avoiding? Incredible.
Did you finally return a text after three weeks? Amazing.
Did you fold one piece of laundry? Look at you go.

Resilience isn’t about waiting for the big victories—it’s about recognizing the small ones. If you celebrate tiny wins, you’ll stay motivated long enough to reach the bigger ones.

12. Remember That No One Actually Knows What They’re Doing

Everyone is making it up as they go.

Your boss? Guessing.
That person who seems to have their life together? Panicking internally.
The experts? Learned things through trial and error.

The sooner you accept that no one has it figured out, the sooner you can stop feeling bad for not having it all together.

Final Thought

Resilience isn’t about never struggling—it’s about getting back up when life throws nonsense at you.

If all else fails, just drink some water, take a break, and remember that five years from now, you probably won’t even remember why you were stressed today.

Or, at the very least, you’ll have a great story to tell.