It’s official: the American people love dictatorship. They just need it to be wrapped in a flag, hollering about “freedom,” and conveniently ignoring reality. According to the latest polls, former (or let’s be honest, current-in-spirit) President Donald J. Trump is soaring with a 50% approval rating. And why? Because he’s delivering on his promises—whether those […]
Justice, But Make It Convenient In yet another episode of Justice: Now You See It, Now You Don’t, a federal judge has raised a very logical, very lawyer-y question: Why exactly did the Department of Justice suddenly decide to drop its corruption charges against New York City Mayor Eric Adams? Was it a new piece […]
The Set-Up: Where Ego Meets Algorithm Picture this: a dimly lit stage, an American flag, a Tesla Cybertruck in the background (with a shattered window, naturally), and two men whose combined wealth could solve global hunger but instead fund questionable social media ventures. Donald Trump and Elon Musk sit across from an interviewer who clearly […]
Welp. It finally happened. Democracy just showed up on John Roberts’ doorstep like a stray puppy—malnourished, abandoned, and in desperate need of help. And now, the Supreme Court has to decide whether to take it in or leave it out in the cold. So what’s the big deal? Oh, just another case where Trump is […]
President Donald Trump has unveiled his unique interpretation of democracy, suggesting that if he’s “saving the country,” he is above the law. Yes, you heard that right—Trump just went full Napoleon, and not the cool, croissant-loving kind. The Emperor Has No Laws (or Clothes, We Assume) Trump posted a rather eyebrow-raising statement recently, quoting (or […]
The night before Donald Trump’s second inauguration—because America just loves a sequel—22-year-old conservative activist CJ Pearson threw a party for right-wing influencers who had, against all odds (and reality), rallied behind the former president. A week later, he got an email from NYU journalism student Julia Diorio asking for an interview about his social media […]
The Department of Justice has finally cracked the code on workplace morale. No, not by holding powerful people accountable or ensuring fair prosecutions—but by launching a “Resignation Incentive Program” to help prosecutors quit before their souls do. Yes, instead of fixing systemic corruption, the DOJ’s brilliant solution is to encourage employees to resign when faced […]
Good news, everyone! The same oil companies that have spent decades torching the planet like a backyard bonfire have finally decided to care about climate change. Their solution? Organic drilling. That’s right—ExxonMobil, Shell, and the rest of Big Oil are now committed to making their planetary destruction more sustainable. Because nothing says eco-friendly like drilling […]
In an unexpected act of generosity, the world’s richest individuals have unveiled a bold new economic strategy: instead of wealth “trickling down” (which it never did), money will now trickle up—but in reverse, or something. Billionaires claim this new plan will reduce the wealth gap and stimulate economic growth by redistributing money downward—which, if true, […]
The U.S. intelligence community has long struggled with groupthink, bureaucratic bloat, and the occasional whoopsie that leads to a decades-long war. So naturally, what better way to shake things up than appointing Tulsi Gabbard—a politician who’s been on a political tour of America’s ideological spectrum like a contestant on The Amazing Race? From Democrat to […]