Republicans Booed at Their Own Town Halls—So Obviously, It’s a Soros Conspiracy

So, Republicans are getting yelled at by their own voters, huh?
At town halls.
In deep red districts.

And instead of, I don’t know, listening to them, the GOP has come up with the most logical explanation: these people aren’t real Republicans! No, no, no—these are obviously highly trained Democratic operatives, secretly planted by George Soros to infiltrate conservative communities and pretend to be lifelong Republicans just so they can heckle their own representatives.

Oh yeah, that totally checks out.

Because clearly, the most efficient use of Soros’ billions is to fund small-town protest flash mobs instead of, I don’t know, literally anything else.

When in Doubt, Blame Soros

Republicans really do have a one-size-fits-all excuse for everything they don’t like: it’s all Soros.

• Inflation? Soros.
• Gas prices? Soros.
• Fox News settling a billion-dollar lawsuit because they lied about the election? Definitely Soros.
• That one time your uncle got food poisoning at Golden Corral? Mmm…probably Soros.

So when Representative Keith Self—who, by the way, represents a district that has been Republican-controlled since before microwaves were invented—got absolutely roasted by his own constituents, conservative media had to act fast. And the official explanation?

These weren’t real Republicans.

Nope! According to Jesse Watters and his tinfoil-hat-wearing colleagues, this was just a coordinated liberal attack, an infiltration, a false flag operation… because apparently, Democrats are out here playing political LARP, dressing up as angry MAGA dads just to make Keith Self feel bad.

Yes, that’s much more believable than, I don’t know… Republicans actually being mad at Republican policies.

“Fake” Voters—Who Somehow Still Exist

But here’s the problem: if all these people angrily showing up at town halls aren’t real conservatives, then where did they all come from? Did George Soros rent out an entire Hobby Lobby parking lot and bus them in? Are there secret liberal sleeper cells scattered across Texas, waiting for the signal to activate?

“Code Red: Complain about losing Medicaid! I repeat, complain about losing Medicaid!”

If this is a hoax, it’s a very elaborate one. Like, a full-scale deep-cover Broadway performance of “Fiscally Conservative, Socially Furious” kind of elaborate.

But don’t worry! Republican officials have a plan: just ignore the voters and blame the media.

According to Congressman Chip Roy, these town hall protesters are just people who are “happy with the bloated status quo” and “don’t want us to get our country back on track.”

Ah yes, because nothing screams establishment shill like a retired school teacher in a Red Hat yelling, “WHY DID YOU CUT MY VETERAN BENEFITS?”

The GOP’s New Message: “Your Job Isn’t Real”

Speaking of totally normal and relatable GOP messaging, Republicans have also decided that government workers aren’t real workers.

Yeah. You heard that right.

Apparently, according to Marjorie Taylor Greene—yes, that Marjorie Taylor Greene—if you work for the government, your paycheck is basically a charity handout.

That means if you:

• Protect cybersecurity for veterans’ medical records? Fake job.
• Clean national parks so tourists don’t get eaten by raccoons? Fake job.
• Research deadly diseases at the NIH? FAKE. JOB.

But if you’re a Republican congresswoman collecting a six-figure salary to record videos about Jewish space lasers and yell about drag queens?
💰 TOTALLY LEGITIMATE WORK. 💰

I mean, if we’re really getting rid of “fake jobs,” then why are we still paying members of Congress like Greene, Gaetz, and Boebert to do whatever the hell it is they do all day?

Elon Musk, the Only Man Who Deserves a Government Check

And while Republicans are out here roasting laid-off government workers as “sob stories,” they’re making sure that one very important person still gets his paycheck:

Elon Musk.

Because while cybersecurity experts, environmental scientists, and consumer protection officials are getting pink slips, the GOP is handing out government contracts like candy to the richest man on Earth.

Yes, Republicans are absolutely furious about public servants getting paid to do things like keep your drinking water clean, but when it comes to Musk’s government contracts?

👀 Crickets. 👀

A Strategy Doomed to Fail… Again

So, let’s recap:

1. Republicans pass deeply unpopular policies.
2. Republican voters get mad about those policies.
3. Republicans claim those voters don’t exist.

Flawless strategy! What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, right—2018.

Remember when Republicans tried this exact same approach after gutting healthcare, and then lost the House in a historic landslide? Yeah, apparently they don’t.

But this time, they have a new plan: instead of fixing their policies, they’ll just pretend that anyone who complains is a paid Democratic actor.

So, when 2024 rolls around and Republicans get absolutely steamrolled again, don’t expect any self-reflection. Nope! The official GOP explanation will be:

“George Soros hired millions of fake Republicans to vote against us.”

Because obviously.