Tulsi Gabbard as Director of National Intelligence? A True Test of Intelligence

The U.S. intelligence community has long struggled with groupthink, bureaucratic bloat, and the occasional whoopsie that leads to a decades-long war. So naturally, what better way to shake things up than appointing Tulsi Gabbard—a politician who’s been on a political tour of America’s ideological spectrum like a contestant on The Amazing Race?

From Democrat to Independent to Fox News regular, Gabbard has done it all. Now, she might just get the ultimate glow-up: running the nation’s intelligence agencies. Who needs stability in leadership when you can have someone who makes the CIA wonder, “Wait…whose side is she on today?”

Why Tulsi? Because Chaos is Underrated

While some critics say Gabbard’s foreign policy positions are erratic, let’s take a look at the real reasons she’d be a perfect fit for the role:

• Adaptability: She’s switched political affiliations more times than the U.S. has invaded countries. That’s the kind of flexibility you want in an intelligence leader!
• Media Expertise: A Director of National Intelligence should be able to handle information carefully. Luckily, Tulsi already has experience… casually dropping Kremlin-approved talking points on primetime cable news.
• Outsider Thinking™: Who better to challenge government consensus than someone who’s spent years criticizing “the deep state” and might not even believe in its mission?

Possible Policy Changes Under Tulsi

If appointed, Gabbard might bring some much-needed changes to intelligence operations:

• Declassification, but Make It Personal: Every intel briefing ends with a Tucker Carlson interview.
• Allies? Let’s Reevaluate: NATO? Maybe. Russia? Let’s hear them out.
• Counterterrorism Redefined: The real national security threats? Woke culture, pronouns, and public health measures.

The Future of Intelligence: Unpredictable, Like Tulsi

The biggest advantage of a Gabbard-led intelligence community? Nobody—including our allies, our enemies, or the intelligence agencies themselves—would know what’s coming next.

And honestly, if unpredictability is the new national security strategy, we might be in the safest hands yet. Or the most dangerous. Who can say? Tulsi’s political trajectory suggests she can’t either.